Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I deserve this hangover.
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