There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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