it's too hot outside to masturbate.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
