we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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