no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
