Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
