when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
