Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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