he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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