Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
