Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
