How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
