The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
