Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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