i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think I died a long time ago.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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