Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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