Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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