Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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