OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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