i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
