What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
