Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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