and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
