hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
