i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I looked at my own cervix.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
