Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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