Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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