I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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