just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
