I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
