I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
