Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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