Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I didn't shave. On purpose
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
