would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
