I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
