I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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