1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
