Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
