There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
