Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
