their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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