Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
