It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
