whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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