i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
