Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
