remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
