Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
