you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
