Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
