Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
