Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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