What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
