I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
