I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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